Gifts That Make Me Want To Shank You, Not Say “Thank You”

This has happened to all of us.  It’s Christmas (or any other holiday you celebrate) or our birthday or anniversary, and you see it: The box. The box that is pre-wrapped by a salesperson – and judging by the size – is most likely jewelry.  You look at your boyfriend with your eyes wide with anticipation, and rip open that little sucker like your 6-years-old tearing away at what you know is that awesome talking and peeing doll that you’ve been asking your parents for for weeks.

You lift open the top of the box, preparing to scream, “Oh my God!” and then…there it is.  Less “Oh my God” and more “Myyy God :(”. In a style that perhaps your Great-Aunt Beatrice would wear, there lies your earrings, necklace, bracelet, ring.  Tears start to form in your eyes and you don’t really know what to do. Thoughts race through your head like wildfire.

Don’t cry, he’ll feel terrible, and it’s Christmas. Wait, he just made me feel terrible, and it’s freaking Christmas. No, no, he didn’t mean to. Although, I did tell him exactly what I wanted…so what is this crap?! Do not fight on Christmas. I want to stab him in the jugular. Continue reading