Happy Valentine’s Day, Sweetie, Here’s a Salad

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My boyfriend, Mark, told me about an article that asks what is and is not acceptable as a Valentine’s Day gift. Apparently a bunch of women were interviewed and 10/10 of them agreed that dinner could and should be counted as the gift itself.
I just have one question: Were these women interviewed from the confines of their rooms or in the common room at the Mental Institution they’re staying at? Continue reading

Did The Guy I’m Seeing Take Out Another Girl On Valentine’s Day?

So last night was Valentine’s Day (tired of hearing those two words together at this point? – because I am) anddd I sat at home with my dog. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m seeing a younger guy, and I was delighted when he asked me to be his Valentine. Do you think I hinted about that at all?

Anywho, last week his boss told him that he had to cover for his co-worker’s vacation, therefore switching his day off from Wednesday to Thursday. This meant that he would wake up at 3:15AM to work his two jobs (one after the other), drive an hour to take me out, and then drive another hour to go  back home again…sleeping for an hour and waking up at 3:15AM againDid you just get tired reading that? Because I was exhausted hearing it.

Therefore, I insisted that we postpone our Valentine’s Day plans until today, the day after V-Day. I stayed in with my family, cooked kickass stuffed mushrooms, and did some video editing.

My brother walked in the room, saw me in my heart pajamas, and said, “Hey, why aren’t you out to dinner?”

“He had to work, plus he wasn’t really feeling well, so I told him that we’ll just go out tomorrow,” I replied.

“Oh, so he’s out with another girl, then, huh? Hahaha,” my brother shot back.

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“Top Ten Most Romantic Places in NYC”

The following is a guest post from a Jen And Men reader who I’ll call Sally:

Hi Jen,

Hope all’s well. I saw you’ve posted a few things on Valentine’s Day so I thought a list of “top ten places to propose in NYC” would make a good post for any of your readers in New York especially as 4 million Americans are expected to pop the question or receive a proposal on Feb 14th.

So fellas it’s time to get creative and hit one of New York’s top ten most romantic places as suggested by CitySights NY:

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Valentine’s Day Tips For A Guy Who Just Started Seeing A Girl

Okay, so you just started seeing a girl and it’s your bad luck that Valentine’s Day is tomorrow. What to do, what to do? Follow my tips is what you’re gonna do. Because, trust me, this girl will be watching you like a hawk to see how you measure up during important holidays.

First thing’s first, ask her to be your Valentine. You may think this is silly and that it’s just understood, but it isn’t. Think about it. Is it just understood that you’re engaged? Or do you have to ask for a girl’s hand in marriage? Yup. Boo-yah.

Think Valentine’s Day is stupid? Well your possible future girlfriend doesn’t, so keep your opinion to yourself and follow my lead.

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Guys: 5 Things To Do For Your Girlfriend On Valentine’s Day (For The Last-Minute Man)

Ah, Valentine’s Day. The single most dreaded day by guys across the globe. Panicked thoughts flood through theirs minds from approximately February 7th to February 14th (for the ones who wait until the last minute). What am I gonna get her? What will she like? What will not get me killed? Before you start hyperventilating, don’t forget to ask her to be your Valentine today. Yeah, it may seem pointless. But it’s not. Trust me; we love that shit.

If you’d like to survive until February 15th…read this post. I put it up an entire week early so that you’d have time to prepare…and I’m re-posting it to remind all of you aforementioned last-minute-men. I’ll be your very own Cupid. You’re welcome, men. You’re more welcome, ladies…

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“Who Says ‘No’ To Being Someone’s Valentine??”

My friend Lance has been talking to a girl that he met on POF for the past couple of weeks. They’ve gone on two really great dates, where they had intense make-out sessions (nothing more), have had a few phone conversations, and text all day long. Yesterday, Lance asked her to have dinner with him on Tuesday (which is clearly Valentine’s Day). She apologized and told him that it sounded great but she already had plans for Tuesday.

Lance was shocked. After staring at her response for a minute, he imed me on Facebook chat.

“WHAT. THE. FUCK! She is soooo getting the shit end of the stick till further notice. I mean it could be w another guy, it could be with friends…but if it’s with friends she could have said ‘I’m sorry I already had a girls night planned’ and if it was with Continue reading

Write Me A Romantic, Heart-Felt Card That’ll Make A Hallmark Writer Cry Or I’ll Make *You* Cry

I’m not what one would call the “mushy” type. I don’t really talk about feelings with the guys I date. I talk about them with my friends, and my mom, and my keyboard (JenAndMen — I don’t sit and chat with my wireless keyboard), but I get really shy and uncomfortable when it comes to saying this out loud to the guy I’m seeing.

Therefore, it’s always been easier to express how I feel (both good and bad) by writing things down. That’s why when people hate on texters, I feel their pain, because sometimes it’s not just done for convenience — it’s done for necessity.

Anyway, because I’ve always been this way, I love writing long and detailed cards to my boyfriends for their birthday, Valentine’s Day, and anniversaries. I think that it’s a really nice Continue reading

Gifts That Make Me Want To Shank You, Not Say “Thank You”

This has happened to all of us.  It’s Christmas (or any other holiday you celebrate) or our birthday or anniversary, and you see it: The box. The box that is pre-wrapped by a salesperson – and judging by the size – is most likely jewelry.  You look at your boyfriend with your eyes wide with anticipation, and rip open that little sucker like your 6-years-old tearing away at what you know is that awesome talking and peeing doll that you’ve been asking your parents for for weeks.

You lift open the top of the box, preparing to scream, “Oh my God!” and then…there it is.  Less “Oh my God” and more “Myyy God :(”. In a style that perhaps your Great-Aunt Beatrice would wear, there lies your earrings, necklace, bracelet, ring.  Tears start to form in your eyes and you don’t really know what to do. Thoughts race through your head like wildfire.

Don’t cry, he’ll feel terrible, and it’s Christmas. Wait, he just made me feel terrible, and it’s freaking Christmas. No, no, he didn’t mean to. Although, I did tell him exactly what I wanted…so what is this crap?! Do not fight on Christmas. I want to stab him in the jugular. Continue reading

The Time I Gave My Boyfriend A Black Eye

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I’m going to take a moment to discuss something that has been irking me for years now. I know I’m totally going to get a lot of shit for this…but I’m sayin’ it, anyway: Why, oh, why are people into scary movies?! I recently went on a date with Chris and jumped/screamed when a sea-creature jumped out at me in Happy Feet 2: 3-D! He thought my fright was the funniest thing ever. I would just like to know what they are doing to these children’s movies?! Okay, so I was the only one who got scared. But still!

I tell every boyfriend I ever meet: “I HATE scary movies!” And, right on cue, they say in the most macho voice they can muster up, “I’ll protect you.” Usually an arm is thrown around me for good measure.  What I don’t think these guys get is that when I say “I hate being scared,” I don’t mean, “Oh, please hold me tight and make this into a romantic moment.” NO, I mean…I will embarrass you in front of a theater full of people by screaming like a woman with Turrets and crying like a small child. And, if that’s all that happens – that’ll actually be pretty tame.

When I was in high school, I Continue reading