First Fight Funk

So we all know how much it sucks to fight with a boyfriend or girlfriend. But it’s downright depressing when you have your very first fight with someone you just started dating. If you’re anything like me, several thoughts start swirling through your head: Should I let him know I’m mad? He’s not even my boyfriend, I don’t want him to think I’m crazy (yet). Is this going to keep happening if I end up with this guy? Should I end this now and cut my losses? Should I tell him I’m upset so he knows for future reference? What if I tell him and there is no future reference?

When some people get upset, they scream. Others cry, rationalize, talk things through, try to get revenge, etc, etc, etc. Whenever I get angry or sad or hurt (or all 3, which is usually the case), I do one of two things — and they’re basically variations of each other. I either (a) Go silent and make up an excuse to get off the phone/out of the restaurant or guy’s house or (2) Cut the guy off completely.

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“I Feel Like I’m Good Luck Chuck, Except, Without All The Sex”

My friend Mike and I have a daily ritual of calling each other up and bitching about our dating lives. Today he had me cracking up when he said that he feels like Dane Cook from the movie Good Luck Chuck. “I feel like I’m Good Luck Mike: All these girls find their soulmates after meeting me. Except, instead of having sex with all of them like he did, all I get are text messages.”

This attitude was brought on by a girl he recently took out on a date. They really hit it off, and he was looking forward to taking her out again. When it was coming closer to their date, though, she started texting him things like, “I’m not really sure if I’ll be back in town. I’ll let you know. Blah blah.” I told him to prepare himself for getting dumped, and that’s just what happened.

At the last minute, she Continue reading

Remember The Days When We Had One Land Line? Neither Do I…

“I miss the days when you had one phone number and one answering machine and that one answering machine has one cassette tape and that one cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn’t.” –He’s Just Not That Into You

In this day and age, we have all become completely addicted to and dependent on technology. If I forget my cell phone home, I practically have a panic attack on the car ride over to wherever I’m heading. I am constantly checking my text messages, missed calls, email, website messages, Facebook, PlentyofFish and OKCupid accounts. By the time I get through with catching up on all my Words with Friends games, my eyes are Continue reading

The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From The Idiotic Tree

I once got into an argument with a guy I was seeing for a couple of weeks. I called him Bill in “Jen, I Hate Your Red Hair”… “Jerk, I Hate Your Black Soul” so let’s stick with that name, shall we?  He basically bashed my family values, my hair color, and the way I act with him in public.

I sat mute for almost an hour while he attacked just about every aspect of my life, sharing his unwarranted opinions and judgments and sticking his nose where it didn’t belong.  As angry as I am with him, I am much angrier with myself. What am I, a battered wife?  Thank God I came to my senses the next day and yelled at the fool.

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