Okay, so you just started seeing a girl and it’s your bad luck that Valentine’s Day is tomorrow. What to do, what to do? Follow my tips is what you’re gonna do. Because, trust me, this girl will be watching you like a hawk to see how you measure up during important holidays.
First thing’s first, ask her to be your Valentine. You may think this is silly and that it’s just understood, but it isn’t. Think about it. Is it just understood that you’re engaged? Or do you have to ask for a girl’s hand in marriage? Yup. Boo-yah.
Think Valentine’s Day is stupid? Well your possible future girlfriend doesn’t, so keep your opinion to yourself and follow my lead.
Ah, Valentine’s Day. The single most dreaded day by guys across the globe. Panicked thoughts flood through theirs minds from approximately February 7th to February 14th (for the ones who wait until the last minute). What am I gonna get her? What will she like? What will not get me killed? Before you start hyperventilating, don’t forget to ask her to be your Valentine today. Yeah, it may seem pointless. But it’s not. Trust me; we love that shit.
If you’d like to survive until February 15th…read this post. I put it up an entire week early so that you’d have time to prepare…and I’m re-posting it to remind all of you aforementioned last-minute-men. I’ll be your very own Cupid. You’re welcome, men. You’re more welcome, ladies…
One of my best friends, Alessia, is dating a jerk. And when I say “jerk,” I actually mean a whole slew of other words but let’s keep it clean, shall we?
For Christmas, she told him exactly what she wanted: 2 pairs of Uggs and a Michael Kors watch (and before I get grief about her being a gold digger, she stupidly spent the same amount of money on him, so calm down).
As Christmas was approaching, he started in with his little comments.
“You know, I don’t think I spent as much on you as you spent on me,” “I didn’t do such a great job wrapping your presents” …blah blah.
Used to his constant meanness, she told him to stop trying to deliberately hurt her and put an end to his unnecessary idiocy. Continue reading