I Met A Guy In Real Life That I Had Previously Rejected Online

So I recently went to a bar with my friend Maria. As we were standing there talking, I saw a cute guy (who I’ll call Marcus) walking toward us.
Oh God, I thought. Now I’m gonna have to hear this one talk and then send him on his way.
Maria was acting differently toward him then she usually acts. After a few seconds of hearing them speak, I realized that they knew each other. Figuring he must be a good guy, I immediately began to lose my “bitch face” and smile a little more. (It turned out that Marcus was a good friend of the guy she just started seeing.)
After he asked what we were drinking and ordered two more for us (yay!), I grabbed his shoulders and angled his body in my direction. “Memorize my face. Do you know me? Because you look really familiar,” I said.

“You do look familiar to me…But I don’t think we’ve ever met before,” he said, laughing at my request to “memorize my face.”

 

Continue reading

*Of Course* You Always Lie About Dating Multiple People!

As I mentioned in Dating Is Like Interviewing And Being Interviewed All At Once, if you’re talking to multiple people, you’re obviously going to go on multiple dates a week. (Hell, I used to go on multiple dates a day). This is fine. Time-consuming and a bit tiring, but fine. There is one golden rule that must always be followed at all times though: Never tell the guy/girl you’re dating that you are also dating other people.

My friend Zack recently took a girl he met on POF out for coffee. Somehow the topic of “second chances” got brought up, and the girl turned to him and casually said, “Oh yeah, I’m a firm believer in second chances. For example, this guy that I met on the site pissed me off last week, but he apologized so I decided to give him a second chance and go out on a date with him tomorrow.”

Zack looked at her with disgust. Scrunching up his face, he thought maybe he misheard her. “Did you just tell me that you’re going on a date with a different guy tomorrow?” he asked.

Continue reading

Dating Is Like Interviewing & Being Interviewed All At Once

When you’re on an online dating site (or even if you’re not), you’re clearly going to be dating multiple people. If a girl tells a guy, “Hey, it’s hard to talk on here. Why don’t you take my number,” then she most likely has also said that to 5 other guys that day. I’m not saying she doesn’t like you, I’m just saying you’re not the only one she likes.

If you’re on a site like Plenty of Fish or OKCupid, it usually means that you’re serious about finding a relationship (or, at the very least, someone you’re compatible with and like hang out with). Therefore, what would be the point of seeing a cute guy/girl, sending two or three messages back and forth, exchanging phone numbers, and ignoring the other 400 messages in your inbox?

Continue reading

Oh God, Let Me Choke On My Chicken So I Don’t Have To Withstand Another Minute Of This Date

A couple months ago, I went on a first date with a guy that I met online. (I’ve called him Bill in another post, “Jen, I Hate Your Red Hair”… “Jerk, I Hate Your Black Soul”.) As we chatted over appetizers, I asked the question I always ask guys I’ve met from POF: So tell me your most horrifying online dating experience.

He proceeded to tell me about a girl (or should I say woman) he met after sending messages back and forth. She had asked him to meet her at her apartment (which is never a good sign) one night after work. When he got there, a heavyset woman in her thirties answered the door.

“Hi, I’m looking for Gina,” Bill said.

“Hey, it’s me,” the woman replied.

They talked on her couch for an hour, and then Bill said he had to head out.

“Why are you leaving?” she asked.

“Well, to be honest with you, you’re a lot older and heavier than you were in the pictures you put up in your profile,” Bill said. “Don’t you think you were deceptive by putting up old pictures?”

Continue reading

What A Rockstar Online Dating Profile Looks Like, Ladies (Part 2)

In my About Me section, I hit on key areas about myself without sounding too self-loving (I know, I know, ironic). I talk about the facts that I dye my hair like the Little Mermaid (because who doesn’t love a Disney chick?), that I was on z100 promoting my blog (to show them that this isn’t some EMO “Oo, look at me, I’m gonna draw fake teardrops on my face and tell people I have a ‘blog’ blog), and that I’m really sarcastic (because if you don’t like sarcasm, you don’t like me.)

 

Guys love 3 things from their girlfriends (or potential girlfriends): cupcakes, cuddling, and, well, this is a PG13 blog, so you could guess the third one. Because of this well-known fact, I, naturally, mentioned that I’m a “rockstar cuddler, girlfriend, and cupcake-maker.” This makes guys think “Oh my God, I could sit and eat a batch of cupcakes while cuddling with my girlfriend after we [do that third thing]. Of course, if it’s his girlfriend, chances are there won’t be any of that third thing going on, but, hey, cupcakes freaking rock, man.

Continue reading

What A Rockstar Online Dating Profile Looks Like, Ladies (Part 1)

A JenAndMen reader named Maria recently asked me to post my PlentyOfFish.com profile on my blog so that she could get some tips. I always thought guys were just trying to butter me up when they said that my profile is the best one they’ve seen on POF (and they probably were), until I saw some other girls’ profiles. How?, you may ask. Because my guy friends are just as bitchy as me and send me the links to girls’ profiles that are so outrageously ridiculous that they must be publicly mocked (I won’t though).
There are 4 sections to most online dating profiles: Photos, Interests, About Me, and your ideal First Date. Before I show you my profile, I’d first like to explain why I chose to post what I did…
First of all, my username is Jennifer paired with the numbers of my birthday. I don’t know who these girls think they are with their little 2006 myspace names like “cutieEforuU” or “h0TTieUveBeEnDrEamin0f.” I also made my headline “Looking for chemistry” and not “couLd y0Uu bE mYy s0uLmaTeEe?[=” (because it’s not complete without the backwards smiley face). Control yourselves, ladies. For all our sakes.
In my Photos section, I made sure to choose pictures of me always looking Continue reading