“I Thought You Were Shy — This Skinny White Bitch Is OUT OF CONTROL!”

Yes, everyone at Lucky Cheng’s last night, the lunatic in the hot pink/zebra dress was me. And, yes, I was giving a lap dance to a complete stranger on stage in front of a restaurant full of people at a transvestite cabaret. As you can see in the progression of events, I went from shy and afraid to wild and crazy in a matter of about ten seconds. What? I wanted to win the contest!

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Of All The Transvestite Cabarets To Run Into You…

If there’s one thing I hate, it’s seeing someone that looks unbelievably familiar to me and not knowing where I know them from. Lately it’s been happening to me more and more. I feel like everywhere I go I run into someone I know. I mean, I know I’m famous, but this is getting crazy.

The other night I sat at the bar at The Hard Rock Cafe with my best friend, Kerry.

“Kerry, I know that man,” I said, looking at the bartender.

“I think he just has one of those faces,” she replied.

“NO! I know him!”I insisted.

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