Happy Valentine’s Day, Sweetie, Here’s a Salad

Featured

image-3
My boyfriend, Mark, told me about an article that asks what is and is not acceptable as a Valentine’s Day gift. Apparently a bunch of women were interviewed and 10/10 of them agreed that dinner could and should be counted as the gift itself.
I just have one question: Were these women interviewed from the confines of their rooms or in the common room at the Mental Institution they’re staying at? Continue reading

Is It Okay For Transsexuals To Mislead Guys?

I recently received a comment from a guy who said he constantly gets online dating messages from transvestites and transsexuals, and he doesn’t know it until he looks really closely at their photos. This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this. I have had one guy friend go on a date with a person who was a transsexual and another friend make out with a transsexual person. Neither were told that they were with people who were originally (or still) men.

Now, before I get attacked here, this blog post is not anti-trans anything. Hey, if you were born male and believe that you’re actually a female I have nothing but pity and support for you on your journey to become who you believe you are.  I can’t even imagine what it must be like to carry the burden of not feeling right your entire life. (In case you don’t know the difference, transvestites are essentially cross-dressers, and transsexuals are people who believe that they are the opposite sex of what they were at birth.)

Here’s what the post is about, though: Omitting your situation to the guy you’re dating. Some male Continue reading

My Blog Is Now JenAndYen.com Because I’m Giving Up Dating & Focusing On Making Enough Money To Have NASA Build Me A Robotic Boyfriend

I have made a decision, world: After dating 475,000 assholes this year, I’m not dating for the rest of the year. I may even continue that streak into January. I’ll start again in February, because I obviously need chocolates on Valentine’s Day. Let’s not be impractical, now.

I’m exhausted from dressing up and keeping up conversations and pretending to care about sports. And never mind the emotional, mental and physical exhaustion. Let’s consider all the time and energy I spend putting on makeup and shaving my damn legs. I swear to God, dating is like a full-time job for me…except I’m spending money and not making it. Do you know how much it costs to buy adorable outfits and heels, get manicures/pedicures, and get my hair blown out?

Continue reading

I’m Not Hating These Supermodels Any Less…

You already look like THAT…Did you really have to snag Orlando Bloom and Adam Levine, too?! I totally feel like Jan Brady right about now.  As you already know, I watch the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show each year because I am both a lover of beautiful fashion and a masochist. Sitting with my eyes glued to the TV, and my hand glued to my snacks, I weep to myself because I know that I’ll never look like that…unless I get someone to put me in one of those Rambo body-stretch machines.

Anywho, as if it’s not painful enough for me, now I have to watch two of the hottest guys in the world – Orlando Bloom and Adam Levine – blow kisses and give standing ovations to these women who are doing nothing but walking a straight line, essentially. Miranda Kerr and Anne Vyalitsyna obviously donated millions of dollars to poor children in Africa in a past life. It’s the only explanation. Continue reading