A friend of mine told me a horrifying story last week that put many of my bad dates to shame. Every time I thought my jaw couldn’t drop any further, a new detail shocked me again.
Back in freshman year of college, Ellie, a really pretty, petite girl, had her eye on a hot junior, John, who lived down the hall in her co-ed dorm. The two started making out at a party in his room, and before she knew it, everyone was gone and it was just the two of them. Things got hot and heavy, and they ended up naked on his bed with the lights off. That’s when he got up to get a condom.
When he got back on top of her with the condom, she opened her eyes to a terrifying sight — the naked guy sitting on her WAS NOT JOHN. Continue reading →
A guy recently told me the following story, and it inspired me to write a post about girls who are huge drinkers and how unattractive I think it makes them look:
When I was in college, my buddy’s older sister came down to visit one weekend. That night, we were sitting at the bar and I found out that she was certifiably insane: She actually thought she could outdrink me. So after a while she starts to get annoying, and we start the challenge. Now she had just gotten engaged and had this huge rock on her hand. After every drink we took, she would punch me in the forehead. And I don’t mean like “tap” — I mean like fucking crack me in the dome. So the next day my entire forehead was banged up and cut from her. On the plus side, when we left the bar and got a ride home, she fell out of the car passed the hell out…So I may have lost the battle, but I won the war.
I always find my drinking nights to be a slippery slope. I’m a complete light weight, so after one Malibu Bay Breeze (the only drink I can taste without gagging) I’m tipsy. After two, I get that glazed over, out-of-it stare, which goes perfectly with my way-too-big smile.
When my best friend Kerry wants to take a picture, she’ll sometimes look at me and say, “Oh no, you’re smiling too big. You’re drunk before the pictures?!”
When I’m around potential future husbands in bars, I am always aware that the difference of one drink could make me go from fun and silly to that girl being carried out. And, trust me, you never want to be thatContinue reading →