“I Should Have Known Once He Told Me He Got Arrested For Attempted Murder”

The other night, my girlfriends and I went out for dinner and dessert in Park Slope. We obviously spent the hours together dishing about our latest guys and our boyfriends (two of us are dating, two have long-term boyfriends). Tiffany, a new edition to our group, shared a story about how she almost had to get a restraining order against her ex.

“He was crazy,” she said, shaking her head. “He just kept getting in this guy’s face because he thought he was staring at me. He was screaming and going nuts. I finally left the VIP section and he followed me to the coat check and grabbed my wrists and I got away from him, told him off and left him there. Then he called and texted me so many times my phone actually rebooted itself and I lost all my messages from other Continue reading

If You Want To Show A Guy That You Like Him, Spill Every Drink You Have On Him

The night I met the guy that I’ve referred to as Billy, I couldn’t keep my alcohol down. Not because I was vomiting — but because I was retarded. First, as we were dancing, I received a text message. I had been holding my Malibu Bay Breeze and my iPhone in one hand. When I saw my screen light up, I turned my wrist to get a better view of the message. In doing so, a little thing called gravity kicked in and half of my drink spilled out of my cup and onto the floor. Or what I thought was the floor.

No. I spilled half my drink on this guy’s foot. FML. We both looked down and back up at each other slowly. Me, with my jaw dropped.

“I am so sorry,” I said, and ran over to the bar to get a napkin for him.

Continue reading

Roar, Growl, Cougar Prowl: The Night I Officially Became A Cougar

I’ve always had a really big problem with dating younger guys. I’ve only done it a few times, and I was never happy about it. Similar to my attraction to guys who are tall and strong, I guess I just have this idea that a guy is supposed to be older than me. This post is about how that idea goes out the window when that younger guy looks like a model and has an awesome personality.

Once, on a vacation, I met a guy (who I’ll call Billy) that was 3 years younger than me. I walked into a club, which had about 10 people in it at the time and there he was, standing there staring at me with his “serial killer stare” as I later referred to it, haha. After playing Peek-A-Boo for a little while, I decided that I was going to pick him up. (And, the funny part was: I used those exact words in my head without knowing his age yet.)

Continue reading

You Know You Had A Great Time When…

Ever notice that the uglier and crappier you look and feel when you wake up…is the measure of how great your night was 12 hours prior? If you saw me right now, you’d see that last night was a successsssss. I got to wish my family ‘Happy New Year’ when the ball dropped, then went to Capri Nightclub and danced like a nut. The moment I got there, I climbed up on a speaker with one of my best friends and rocked out.

My outfit was awesome (sparklyyy) and I felt very discoball-like. I was already tipsy from my two glasses of sparkling wine, but was really floating after my friend Mike and I did a shot of Patron. I could have kept going, but decided to stop because I didn’t want to be googling hangover cures today like I’m sure most people are.

I hope everyone had an awesome night! And Happy New Year!

I did see a lot of couples last night, but there were a good amount of single people, too.