Ah, the dating world. How often do we get attached to someone, break up with him/her, go through withdrawal, sometimes even depression, when all along we never really even knew them at all?
It’s like we find what may as well be a mannequin, and fill our heads with what we believe that person should like. Let me know if this sounds familiar…
1. Sees a photo of guy with his mother: He loves his family so much. When we get married, holidays will be so wonderful.
Reality: He sees his mother once a year. Notice the date on the photo.
2. Sees a photo of guy with nephew/niece: He’s great with kids. Yeah, when we have babies, he’s going to make a great dad.
Reality: This is his ex’s niece or nephew. He is still talking to her.
3. Speaks once about a family dog: Wow, he’s so good to animals. He adopted that dog from a shelter, days before it was set to be euthanized.
Reality: If his dad didn’t feed and walk the dog, it would have been dead 3 years ago.
4. Hears one line about a long day at work: He is such a hard-worker. He’ll definitely be able to support me and the kids and the three dogs.
Reality: This is the last job his friend will get him; if he fucks this one up, he’s cut off.
I have heard dulled down versions of those fantasies so many times that there is no way 90% of girls (or guys, if you switch it around) can deny saying at least one of them. And it’s not your fault, either. It’s human nature. When you meet someone you can’t help but think of them in the highest regard, because they have done nothing to prove you wrong. Why? Because technically they have done nothing at all.
The flaw in this way of thinking? When you do get to know the person, chances are he’s going to be exactly one tenth of what you’d made him out to be. (Not always, that’s why we have marriages.) Therefore, even when it’s not necessarily his fault that he only gets purebred puppies and, sadly, does not only eat Vegan hamburgers, we still tend to blame him for “changing.”
I’d give advice on the matter but what’s the point? No one enters any date/relationship thinking the worst; and the truth is, if you did, it would probably be a self-fulfilling prophecy, anyway. So keep on keepin’ on and continue hoping for the best. Just remember to expect the worst. And then I promise, the best will find you eventually.