Bar Hopping For One: Yay Or Nay?

This post is inspired by a JenAndMen reader, who I’ll call Michelle, who wrote me the following message:

I’m going through a divorce and all my friends are married with kids. Can I just go to a bar by myself? Is that Lame Sauce or A-OK?┬áLove your blog!

This is a really great topic to debate about: Is it okay to go to a bar alone? I’m going to say “No” — and not just because of the lameness factor. I have compiled a list because (a) it’s easy to read and (b) it’s really fun for me to both compile lists and use the word “compile” on a daily basis.

1. Bars are filled with horny, possibly crazy people…who now have access to alcohol. I honestly just don’t think it’s safe for a chick to go to a bar all by her lonesome. I mean, if the night goes really well, and you end up meeting a guy, who’s going to be able to tell the sketch artist what he looked like if you should suddenly go missing when he walks you to your car?

2. Who’s gonna distract the ugly friends? It’s also good to a have a wing-woman with you — someone to keep the gross friend or friends busy while you mack it to the guy you like. Guys think having a wingman is where it’s at. They haven’t met me as a wing-woman, yet.

3. You look really anti-social. I know the first thought that comes to your mind when considering going to a bar alone is “Do I look like a loser?” It’s not really the “loser” thing I’d be worried about, as much as the question that will immediately rise in a stranger’s head — “Is she so insane that she doesn’t have one friend?” And, if you start the shhhpiel about being the only single woman left in your circle of friends, they’ll be running away before you even get the chance to say you’re cool with it.

4. Guys will most likely assume you’re a huge slut. Unfortunately — and I am in NO WAY saying *I* feel this way — if a girl walks into a bar alone and orders a drink, guys will think that she is either (a) a whore who’s just looking to have sex or (b) an actual whore who’s looking to be paid for having sex.

Those are my thoughts on going to a bar alone. Michelle, if I were you, I’d beg or blackmail one of my girlfriends into coming with me. Just because they’re married, doesn’t mean they can’t have a cocktail with a girlfriend in need. Haven’t they ever seen Sex & the City?

Do you think it’s okay for a chick to go to a bar alone?

9 thoughts on “Bar Hopping For One: Yay Or Nay?

  1. Yes for a girl. Sometimes, when meeting up with friends in the city or what not and I’m early, I tend to drop in a bar to kill time. A girl is fully capable of doing the same.

  2. I don’t think it’s a good idea for a woman, with all the other options to meet people these days, going to the bar alone is not great, but on the other hand if your a Man I think it is, sometimes you just want to be alone.

  3. NEVER go to a bar alone. Too many weirdo’s. I went to a bar not far from where I live with the bf and his friends. I could not have been more thankful to a) have a bf and b) be their with his friends. What I noticed around me was nothing but horny slimeballs undressing women and their friends with their eyes. Never ever ever ever go alone. EVER.

  4. What about going to the bar in a nice restaurant? I don’t see anything wrong with going some place legit/nice/swank/whatever, sitting at the bar and enjoying a beverage. So what if you’re alone. I think it says you’re confident and comfortable enough in your own skin without having to feel like you need a posse of girlfriends to do something your perfectly capable of doing all by myself. Be a big girl and go for it Michelle!

  5. Jessica: Okay, restaurant bar is a little better. Even so. I recently heard a story about a guy that went to a restaurant bar and had a Brazilian couple ask him to “have a sexual encounter.” I know I made light of it, but it really is more about the safety and less about the confidence or way people will perceive you.

  6. I think it’s fine to go to a bar alone. Especially if there’s music or something going on that would be a draw. When I was new in my city, you kind of had to go places alone at first or just stay home. I’d rather go out even though it’d be better with company. I don’t think it makes someone look slutty, I usually would go to a concert or something- I’ve never been to a bar alone, yet someone wanting to unwind after work and get a drink- I don’t see the harm in that.

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