The following is a Guest Post from Eric J. Leech…
For a woman to communicate with guys on dating websites, she may think that she must use a combination of bat signals, woots, grunts, snorts, burps, huffs, and toots. However, you don’t need Little Orphan Annie’s decoder ring to understand your guys’ strange behaviors. All it really takes is a combination of evolution, psychology, and a dash of good old fashioned uncommon sense. I’ve been collecting some of the biggest questions that women have about their men, and now it’s about time that you get some answers.
“What does it mean when a guy won’t spend the night after we sleep together?” There is a lot of confusion with the overnight sleep over. Rumor has it that when a guy sleeps with a girl, and then ducts out in the middle of the night, it means she slept with him too soon, and he has lost all respect for her. However, guys don’t think that way. If a guy walks out, it means that he was probably going to walk anyway. You just happened to give him the bonus plan. Let’s make this clear once and for all. Sex won’t scare the good guys away, and it certainly won’t help you hold onto the crappy ones!
“Why won’t my guy ever decide anything?” This is a relatively new problem, and it deserves special attention, as it is threatening the way men and women share the responsibilities of a relationship (family). Somewhere between the television show, Leave it to Beaver (1957), and Married with Children (1987), some group of guys got the great idea to be sensitive. After all, women supposedly like a man who is in touch with her feelings. Well, as this movement got up to speed, guys began to realize that by being a nice guy, and allowing their women to make all the decision, they could shirk more responsibility and bask in the splendor of women’s rights. The problem with these sensitive guys, is that women want a man who can take charge and make a decision.
“Why does my guy clam up and disappear from the moment he gets home from work?” While men and women are more similar than we think, this is one area where men truly do have a different brain pattern. When a guy gets home from work, he is stressed, just like you. Women, however, can work out their tension through chat and cuddles, while a guy needs to have his cave (alone) time. Studies suggest that a guy literally needs to shut down all motor skills (not including blinking and clicking the remote control), in order to get himself back to neutral ground. In fact, what researchers have recently reported, is even the mere presence of another human being in the same room as him, will slow this recovery process.
“Why do guys all say they’ll call, and then don’t?” Let me propose a new way of looking at this scenario. When a woman talks herself into believing that all guys say they will call and don’t, she creates a prophecy through her reaction at the end of the night. Guys may seem like they don’t pay attention to the fine details of a first date, but they do sense when a woman is hesitant, or lacking enthusiasm. If you give a guy reason to doubt your interest, he’ll assume you’re not into him, and avoid the humiliation of asking for a second date. On many occasions, a guy may have all the intention to call, but through your own doubt, decide against it.
“Why do some guys just stare at me with this creepy expression on their face?” Ladies, this is what I call the “oh face,” and I will explain exactly what it means. It is no groundbreaking discovery that men are not good at determining the difference between a woman who is smiling because she wants to have sex, and one that just has gas. To get around this mental block, most guys depend on a woman’s facial expressions to determine whether or not she is in the mood. You may have seen this look before, as it is the very same one he uses while trying to figure out which direction to rub your breasts so that it feels good to you. This is what I call his oh face, because when he finally gets the hint, his expression says, “Oh, I guess I am doing something right!”
About the Author: Having grown up in a rather Y-chromosome deficient neighborhood, I spent my childhood playing house, Barbies (vs. G.I. Joe)… and the classic, Truth or Dare. Several years down the road, I attended Colorado State University where I earned four degrees in Psychology (emphasis on human sexuality), Social Sciences, English, and Theater Arts. I have since found myself putting my education to good use, writing relationship and sex advice articles for various books (Love, Lust, and Relationships (http://www.datingsite.org)), magazine columns, and dating websites (http://www.datingwebsites.org/).