Hypothetically Running Away From Someone Online

Do you have any idea how disappointing it is to see that you have 100 messages in your online dating profile inbox and the come to find that 90 of them are from people who look like they just escaped from jail or perhaps a mental hospital?

I’m physically shocked as men with tattoos on their face tell me that I’m as beautiful as the sunrise and morbidly obese guys say that they think “we’d really click.” The only thing I’m clicking is the “x” on my computer to shield my eyes from the ugliness before them.

My friend Mike recently brought this up, telling me that he is constantly being messaged by the ugliest of uglies and fattest of fatties on OKCupid. His reaction to this: “When this happens I hypothetically run away and click cancel.”

Sometimes it’s not even that simple…and you have to go as far as to block a person from ever contacting you again.

I once had a guy write me an entire paragraph about how he knew that I would never give him a chance because I am “the most beautiful creature [he] has ever seen,” but the he had this burning question for me and can he please, please, PLEASE ask me before he bursts.

I obviously said “shoot” and his question was “Will you be give me a chance?” He went on to say, “I knew you wouldn’t answer me if I didn’t say I had a question.”

I literally couldn’t believe it. Was this guy on crack cocaine? How do you write someone an entire paragraph bashing yourself and then pretend to have an important question, only to ask them out? Did he think that was going to attract me?

I hypothetically ran from that guy and blocked him.

Have you ever had to “hypothetically run away from someone”? What happened?

6 thoughts on “Hypothetically Running Away From Someone Online

  1. haha i love your blog Jen and have been reading for a while. i just signed up again on pof after a long break, and seriously cant believe some of the messages i get…if i consider myself to be a 7-8, and guys are maybe a 1, i cannot believe they actually think they would have a chance.

  2. Jen,

    What you need to see about this guy is that men sometimes put on this alter look on. They make it seem as if they have no confidence to make you feel sorry for them and then they see if they can use that to ask you on a date. On the other hand what type of people do you expect
    To find on a free dating site? If they do not want to pay they either arent serious about it or desperate. Most people looking for real love dates pay for match.com and such dont you think?

  3. Who Is This Talking: (10 You’re right and I’ve noticed that someone people do this — VERY unattractive because I’m all about confidence. (2) I actually disagree. I went on e-Harmony (a paying site) because I thought just what you said — these free site guys aren’t serious. It turned out that the guys I was finding on e-Harmony were less attractive and seemed more desperate though, and THAT’S why they were paying. (Not AT ALL saying that all people on paying sites are ugly or desperate…it was just the guys I came across for the 3 weeks I was on it.)

  4. Cori: Thanks so much! And, yeah, I don’t know what they guys are thinking. Sometimes I get messages from legit 0’s lol.

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