I always find my drinking nights to be a slippery slope. I’m a complete light weight, so after one Malibu Bay Breeze (the only drink I can taste without gagging) I’m tipsy. After two, I get that glazed over, out-of-it stare, which goes perfectly with my way-too-big smile.
When my best friend Kerry wants to take a picture, she’ll sometimes look at me and say, “Oh no, you’re smiling too big. You’re drunk before the pictures?!”
When I’m around potential future husbands in bars, I am always aware that the difference of one drink could make me go from fun and silly to that girl being carried out. And, trust me, you never want to be that girl.
Fortunately, this rarely happens because I’m not a big drinker at all. People who have to drink are usually unhappy and/or insecure about their lives. They feel that they can’t be themselves without a few beers or shots in them. I, however, can fully be myself in any given situation and, therefore, need no daily dose of alcohol.
I know a girl who literally cannot have fun unless she is piss drunk. And if she isn’t? You better watch out. She is cranky and obnoxious, staring at her cell phone until it’s time to leave. I used to get really angry with her, but now I just feel bad for her. That has to be a really hard life — not being comfortable with your personality or looks, and depending on alcohol to substitute that for you.
A guy friend of mine recently put a hundred dollar bill down on the bar five minutes before closing, and said, “I want as many shots as this can get us.” This, my friends, was not his best idea. Long story short, he ended up walking into a stop sign, making a snide remark to a police officer, and receiving a $300 ticket for “Misbehaving.”
Think the story can’t get any worse? Afterwards, he cried…cried. After I calmed him down from his hysterical rampage, he decided to lie down in a bed of rocks in the backyard. He woke up the next morning with a fat lip, a cut knee, and $300 less in his pocket. Not very lucid…
There are those times, however, such as a birthday, or St. Patrick’s Day, or Cinco de Mayo, or New Year’s Eve, that it is perfectly acceptable to get shit-faced in the middle of the day, continue drinking into the night, and stumble home not really remembering much of how you got there.
Why, you may ask, do I find that acceptable and not random public intoxication? Because in those cases everyone is drunk along with you! No one is pointing and laughing when you’re falling out of a chair, or walking crooked, or dancing on a bar – because they’re right there doing it, too!
On a Tuesday afternoon, however, I do not recommend behaving this way. It just gives you a bad name (especially if the bar isn’t all you’re dancing on) and makes you feel bad about yourself in the morning. Remember, you always want to be remembered as lucid, not loose!
Ever get really drunk on a date or in a bar and embarrass yourself?