I Want To Hold Models Down And Feed Them Lard

I’m sitting here, watching the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show (something I do every year), while stuffing my face with Chocolate Teddy Grahams.  Yes, I’m trying to ignore my sorrow by masking my pain with chocolate.  Shockingly enough, though, eating fistfuls of tiny bear-shaped cookies straight out of the box is not making me look any more like the 90-pound, 6’2 models I’m watching dance down the runway in 6-inch stilettos that cost more than my car.  And they get wings.  Come on, isn’t that just adding insult to injury, now?

When I look at a Victoria’s Secret catalogue, sure, I cry because I have no boobs, let alone Double D’s. Sure, I weep over the fact that they are a foot taller than me and weigh less.  And, yes, I contemplate plastic surgery when I see how flawless their skin and features are.  However (and this is a BIG, HUGE, GIGANTIC “however,” ladies), I also know that the catalogue has some of the best-paid Photoshoppers in the business.  I can, there, lie to myself and say that they really aren’t that beautiful in real life.  That it’s a computer making them stunning.  That they’re actually ugly and fat and that’s Victoria’s REAL secret.  And then I watch the annual Fashion Show and immediately reach for the Kleenex.

How can they be so perfect? I once went to a Baby Phat fashion show with my old boss when I was a fashion intern at People StyleWatch Magazine.  I’ll never forget how much of a hit my self-esteem took that night.  I have literally never in my life felt worse about my body.  The only explanation is that these people – guys and girls – never eat.  And, no, I didn’t say eat healthy or eat minimally…I mean they must fast for years to look like that.  It reminds me of a quote from The Devil Wears Prada that my cousin Amanda recently brought up.  “I’m on this new diet [in preparation for Fashion Week in Paris]. Well, I don’t eat anything and when I feel like I’m about to faint I eat a cube of cheese. I’m just one stomach flu away from my goal weight.”  Tell me these supermodels don’t do the same sick thing.

FYI, I’m totally still eating the Teddy Grahams. What? I’m not tall enough to be an International supermodel, anyway…

16 thoughts on “I Want To Hold Models Down And Feed Them Lard

  1. I hear you loud and clear! But it’s important to remember that this is their job. Meaning they get paid to stay fit and look amazing. Imagine the pressure they must have to know millions of people are watching them, photographing then, and the list can go on and on. Hell if I had a daily personal trainer I would look amazing too!

  2. I think it’s wrong to say these women don’t eat. I have been naturally skinny my whole life and consume more Taco Bell in a week than I should in a lifetime. I have a fast metabolism and can’t stand when people accuse me of not eating enough. I can’t help the fact that I’m skinny, and I’m sure most of these girls can’t, either. But you can’t assume. Like the first comment, if I had the money for a personal trainer everyday, I wouldn’t only be skinny but my body would be in perfect shape like these models!! Not everyone is perfect :)

  3. Alicia: Okay, I’m with you on that. I’m really thin and from about the ages of 11-20 people would scrunch up their faces in disgust and ask me if I was anorexic…and I HATED it! And I eat like a man. So not every thin person eats air for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. However…these girls are the size of my pinkie and love amazing. I’m thinking they don’t consume the same amount of Taco Bell and Teddy Grahams as you and I do — even if we are thin lol.

  4. I have always been naturally thin too, and the mention of what I have ate my whole life would send any girl who has ever been on a diet into a rage, so I won’t go into that. In high school, I was 5’2 and could not tip the scale over 83 lbs to save my life. Friends tried to reassure themselves I would end up fat by 10 year reunion, which is next year and they are all fatter, and I have stayed the same. They are going to hate my guts.

    Enough about me. I still wonder how much these women actually weigh. I’m short so it’s easy for me to estimate the weight of girls around my height and build, but I have no idea what these VS models could weigh. The thing with them is, they do not look like they are malnutritioned. They are all so young and fresh looking, and toned as hell. They don’t look flat and pole-like, as an anorexic would appear. I mean, these women have abs and sculpted bodies. They look very fit, lean, but still healthy.

  5. One day I was listening to the radio and one radio jockey (I think one of the guys from O&A. I could be wrong) was talking about how he met Adriana Lima. He was surprised to see that she was athletic not crazy thin.

    I agree with Ashley. They look fit and not scary thin. To be fit you have to eat a lot. Just a lot of healthy stuff and no junk food.

    I wish I looked like a VS model but then again I’m not making much effort to be fit. I’m not fat but I’m not fit either. And a woman can be skinny and not fit.

  6. I feel the same way, but then I do believe in freedom, and if models want to do that, it’s up to them

  7. Astrid: They still look beautiful! But, yes, that did make me feel better!!! Thanks!

    And I’m glad you love the blog! Thank you for the comments and the support! :)

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