About two months after my crazy ex-boyfriend Joey and I broke up, it was time to get ready for junior prom. I was obviously taking my boyfriend, Chris, so I didn’t have to bother looking for a date.
A couple weeks before prom, I heard something extremely disturbing through the grapevine. A girl in my grade – one who I couldn’t stand – was taking the antichrist Joey as her date. I guess you could probably predict what happened when I first heard the horrifying news. I…flipped…out.
That day, I went up to her locker.
“Christine, listen. I know we’ve had our issues in the past but I’m not going to let that keep me from saving you. Joey is a horrible, horrible person. He spread disgusting false rumors about me to his entire grade, when I never even touched him.
He’s a pathological liar. He invented an entire trip to Florida just to hang out with his friends, for God’s sake! If you don’t want to get hurt, trust me, find a different date.”
Christine looked concerned throughout my entire speech. She nodded and “Mm hmmed” the whole time. Except, I found out later that it wasn’t so much a speech as it was a monologue, because the stupid bitch ignored every word I said.
A mutual friend of ours told me that she had made some sort of lewd comment about me being jealous of her. Ha! If I wanted to stay with that freak I would have.
I went nuts for the second time that day. I vented to my friends, calling her a bunch of names in the process. All of which were true, none of which were flattering.
Apparently I was naive to think that our mutual “friend” was simply a spy for me, because she went right back to Christine and told her what I had said about the little witch.
The next morning at breakfast, Christine charged up to my table like a dog in heat.
“So I hear I’m a slut, huh, Jen?!” she yelled in my face.
“Sounds about right,” I said, staring right back at her.
“So obviously if you’re talking shit behind my back, you wanna fight me, so let’s go,” she ranted on.
“First of all, I was simply stating the obvious to my friends during my lunch period; I wasn’t ‘talking shit behind your back.’ I said nothing I wouldn’t say directly to your face,” I said, calmly. “I try to help you and you turn around and laugh at my intentions behind my back?! Who’s the one ‘talking shit’?”
Again she said she wanted to fight me, to which I said, “Christine, I’m not gonna fight you. I don’t like you, you don’t like me; let’s just leave it at that. Now go back to your little table and leave me alone. It’s not even 8AM, dude.”
I sat down and slid into the booth as she stood there staring at me in disbelief. Fuming, she eventually walked away in a daze and sat down at her table a minute later. I’m surprised I didn’t see smoke coming out of her ears and nose.
Christine took Joey to the prom, fell for him, and had her heart broken by him a couple of weeks later. Hmm, who said that was going to happen? Oh, but that was said out of “jealousy,” right? Yeah, karma’s a bitch, bitch.