I Thought My Friend’s Boyfriend Hurt Her When She Didn’t Answer My Texts

My friend Annie is in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic that every single one of her friends hates (including me). Paul is a horrible human being, and does nothing but bring her down, make her crazy, and alienate her from her friends and family. At one point the girl actually moved to another state to be with this asshole, and he dumped her a week into moving there. Yet she continuously takes him back.

Anyway, they both live here again and she has once again allowed him back into her life. Recently she wasn’t answering my text messages.

“Hellooooo. Are you DEAD?!” I texted her.

Three hours (and 12 more texts from me) later, she texted back that she was fighting with Paul.

“Okay, but you can’t do that to me. I thought something happened to you. You can’t just not answer.”

No answer. (Ironic, I know.)

TEN HOURS LATER I texted her again. And again. And again. I legitimately stalked this girl and was a minute away from calling her mother and the police when she finally texted me back that she was fine. Idiot.

In the meantime, our mutual friend Kelly and I were in a panic trying to figure out what the hell could have happened to her. We thought Paul hurt her…or worse. I mean, where was she?

Thank God Kelly and I were jumping to conclusions, and Paul was the only one that got hit that day. First I got yelled at (which apparently happens when you’re trying to be a good friend). Apparently I “shouldn’t have texted so many people” looking for her because “[I] should know that [she] doesn’t keep her phone out while [she's] with Paul.”

I tried explaining to this idiot that she is the rudest person I know and can’t have a conversation without her phone stitched to her hand, so when she didn’t answer I thought she was dead. I then tried explaining that this is not a normal relationship and she has to get away from him before something terrible actually does happen.

Usually I don’t even bother because she’s just going to hang out with him and lie to me like she lies to everyone else, and I’d rather know where she actually is, but still. I told her that I’m truly afraid for her well-being, and this has now gone too far. She Yes’ed me to death and will probably lie to me next time she hangs out with him.

Have you ever thought something terrible happened to a friend when they didn’t answer their phone while fighting with their abusive girl/boyfriend?

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