How Many Times Can You Really Let One Person Break Your Heart?

After the elation I felt from seeing Cal the Cop,  getting an explanation from Cal the Cop, and kissing Cal the Cop, I should have known I had nowhere to go but down. I just didn’t realize it would be such a far drop or how quickly it would happen.

Somewhere in my demented brain, I thought that we were going to give it another go.

“So, let me get this straight,” my mom said when I recounted the tale the next day. “He told you that he’s no good for you, and that you deserve better, and that he can’t make you happy, but you’re still pursuing him?”

“Yes,” I said, matter-of-factly.

I know he said all that stuff, but I truly didn’t believe he meant it. And, even if he did mean it, I was willing to work on his issues with him, as a couple. Well, guess what, he wasn’t.

He basically spent the next few days not texting me, or calling me Jenny (which I despise and he knows it), or not asking me to hang out with him.

Finally, I got the text I was looking for. He asked me to get spumoni with him at my favorite pizzeria, L&B. Unfortunately, I was at work and couldn’t go. That night I asked him how it was, and he informed me he never went, but he would have if I could have made it.

“I see. That makes me happy :)” I texted.


“I don’t know, because you make me happy & u were going to take me.”

“Ooo got ya.” No, faithful readers, you did not misread that. I said, that he made me happy, and he said “OOO GOT YA.” I have never seen a more appropriate moment to say this: FML.

“Wow,” I managed to text.


I never answered his ridiculous “What?” text and I assume he knew he had messed up when I didn’t receive another text after that.

Weeks later, I had come back from Vegas and was in the city for one of my best friends, Melissa. I broke and texted him, only to find out he was in Vegas.

“Melissa, I half-joked with Diana that I wouldn’t  be surprised if I ran into him in Vegas — AND HE FLEW THERE THE SAME WEEK I WAS THERE?!?!”

If I would have randomly run into him in a THIRD state I’d need therapy for the rest of my life. Anyway, I left Monday and he flew out on Thursday, so I never did see him. After a few boring texts, I said, “Well I’d say I hope you have fun but clearly that would be a lie.”

“Y a lie?”

“Because I’d never say go make out with girls lol.”


Annnnd those 4 letters got me over Cal the Cop. Not the incessant pleading by my friends and family. Not the overwhelming evidence that he is no good for me. But that “haha” just showed me that he doesn’t care about me at all. It may as well have been read as “HAHA, Jen!!!” while he pointed and laughed at me.

I replied but gave him the cold shoulder when he wished me a Happy Birthday, and when he texted me to ask if I “wanted someone to talk to” after seeing a particularly sad Facebook status one night.

I always thought that we would one day end up together, but I have recently come to realize that when someone tells you they are no good for you…you should freaking listen.

Have you ever hoped someone would come around but they disappointed time and time again until you finally said “Enough is enough”?

2 thoughts on “How Many Times Can You Really Let One Person Break Your Heart?

  1. Hey Jen,
    I have been reading your posts for quite a while now; since you started on datingish. (I loved how all your posts made so many of those uptight “I am an intelligent woman who doesn’t play games but I can never get a date because men are intimidated by me” types start flame wars over you.) I really do like your posts and outlook on life but after reading this I think you might be taking things a little too far.
    This Cal situation sounds exactly like what happened to me before. You get interested in the guy, have some pretty awesome dates and conversations but then he starts acting distant. And when you decide to cut him off he feeds you some emotional bs about you being the funniest (sweetest for you) chick he’s met, he likes you but he doesn’t have time for a relationship. So you have some hope but he never acts on it and you end up feeling like a total loser. Idc if he explicitly said no relationships. He was totally leading me on by saying he liked me and continuing to text me.
    God, I’m getting so pissed thinking about it. Anyway, after getting over him I realised that the main reason I liked him was because he was pretty cute. The only reason why he thought our conversations was hilarious was because he was so boring I had to try hard at cracking witty jokes/comments to keep it interesting.

    Anyway, what I’m trying to say is maybe you’re allowing yourself to be blind sighted by the attractiveness of guys. As a long time reader I dare say had Cal been less cute you would dumped him 5 posts ago. I remember you writing about meeting some guy you previously rejected on PoF. You ended up dating him tho it didn’t work out. But maybe if you had given some of your guys second chances like Cal, some of them would have made you very happy.

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