When I started dating Joey (a guy I’ve written about before), I was pretty damn proud of myself. I sixteen, had then kissed two boys (ah!), and felt ridiculously over-the-top cool.
Joey had it all in my eyes – an eyebrow scar, an awesome smile, and great style (an that was in addition to my immediate attraction to his tall, thin physique and dark brown eyes).
When I walked through the annual festival that my neighborhood holds every August, I felt so proud to hold his hands down the street. I wanted to show him off to every girl I went to high school with (or had ever seen in my entire life). Just being with him made me feel better looking in my unconfident high school body.
Things between us were great – or so I thought.
Joey called me one afternoon and informed me that he had to cancel our plans for that weekend because he was going to Florida with his family for a cousin’s wedding.
“You expect me to believe that you found out on Wednesday that you’re going to Florida on Saturday?” I asked, not quite understanding what was going on…but knew it wasn’t good.
“No, of course not!” he exclaimed defensively. “My parents told me about this like six months ago! I just totally forgot about it because I don’t care, and they reminded me about it today!”
I was angry, but what could I have really done? If I insisted that he was lying, than I was admitting that he was actually inventing a vacation to get away from me. If I agreed to go along with this ridiculous tale, than I would be the pushover, gullible girlfriend who would believe any bullshit story. I was really torn. I liked this guy, and didn’t want to accept that he was blowing me off the same way my ex had blown me off (with a little more acting, of course).
I stupidly swallowed my pride (oh the things I’d do differently as a twenty-something) and let it go. Joey called me from “Florida” that Saturday, and we spoke on the phone for a good half hour.
He told me about the “boring wedding” he had attended that day, and proceeded to describe his cousin’s house to me (in great detail, I might add). He told me how hungry he was, and how he was raiding their refrigerator.
I listened very carefully, trying to catch him in a lie. There were just so many specifics in his story. How could he have been making this up? Maybe I was just being one of those paranoid, nitpicky girlfriends that I hate? Maybe…not.
Joey’s best friend, Chris, and I had started talking pretty regularly by the time the whole Florida thing had come up. They weren’t romantic conversations, but I was slowly starting to see that Joey was definitely not the deep guy I didn’t know I wanted. Chris and I had conversations about things that I don’t even think Joey knew about.
The night I had spoken to Joey on the phone, I was instant messenging with Chris, who informed me that he had to tell me something that he thought “I should hear.”
I answered my phone, already knowing what he was going to say, but still choosing not to believe it.
“Jen, Joey isn’t in Florida this weekend. He just told you that because he wanted to hang with me and the guys.”
I couldn’t speak. After a few seconds, he went on.
“That’s not really all. Umm, he was planning on leaving you on Monday. I don’t even know if he was gonna let you know. And then…”
“Then what?” I snapped, trying not to kill the messenger, as so many do.
“Then I told him that I thought you were really cool and pretty, and asked if he would mind if I asked you out if he didn’t want to be in a relationship with you. All of a sudden, he’s calling and texting you constantly? He only wants you because he knows that I want you and he wants to feel fu*king special.”
Have you ever been blatantly lied to by a boyfriend? Did your friends try to tell you the truth? How did you handle the situation?