My Boyfriend Made Up An Entire Vacation So He Wouldn’t Have To Hang Out With Me: Part 1

When I started dating Joey (a guy I’ve written about before), I was pretty damn proud of myself. I sixteen, had then kissed two boys (ah!), and felt ridiculously over-the-top cool.

Joey had it all in my eyes – an eyebrow scar, an awesome smile, and great style (an that was in addition to my immediate attraction to his tall, thin physique and dark brown eyes).

When I walked through the annual festival that my neighborhood holds every August, I felt so proud to hold his hands down the street. I wanted to show him off to every girl I went to high school with (or had ever seen in my entire life). Just being with him made me feel better looking in my unconfident high school body.

Things between us were great – or so I thought.

Joey called me one afternoon and informed me that he had to cancel our plans for that weekend because he was going to Florida with his family for a cousin’s wedding.

“You expect me to believe that you found out on Wednesday that you’re going to Florida on Saturday?” I asked, not quite understanding what was going on…but knew it wasn’t good.

“No, of course not!” he exclaimed defensively. “My parents told me about this like six months ago! I just totally forgot about it because I don’t care, and they reminded me about it today!”

I was angry, but what could I have really done? If I insisted that he was lying, than I was admitting that he was actually inventing a vacation to get away from me. If I agreed to go along with this ridiculous tale, than I would be the pushover, gullible girlfriend who would believe any bullshit story. I was really torn. I liked this guy, and didn’t want to accept that he was blowing me off the same way my ex had blown me off (with a little more acting, of course).

I stupidly swallowed my pride (oh the things I’d do differently as a twenty-something) and let it go. Joey called me from “Florida” that Saturday, and we spoke on the phone for a good half hour.

He told me about the “boring wedding” he had attended that day, and proceeded to describe his cousin’s house to me (in great detail, I might add). He told me how hungry he was, and how he was raiding their refrigerator.

I listened very carefully, trying to catch him in a lie. There were just so many specifics in his story. How could he have been making this up? Maybe I was just being one of those paranoid, nitpicky girlfriends that I hate? Maybe…not.

Joey’s best friend, Chris, and I had started talking pretty regularly by the time the whole Florida thing had come up. They weren’t romantic conversations, but I was slowly starting to see that Joey was definitely not the deep guy I didn’t know I wanted. Chris and I had conversations about things that I don’t even think Joey knew about.

The night I had spoken to Joey on the phone, I was instant messenging with Chris, who informed me that he had to tell me something that he thought “I should hear.”

I answered my phone, already knowing what he was going to say, but still choosing not to believe it.

“Jen, Joey isn’t in Florida this weekend. He just told you that because he wanted to hang with me and the guys.”

I couldn’t speak. After a few seconds, he went on.

“That’s not really all. Umm, he was planning on leaving you on Monday. I don’t even know if he was gonna let you know. And then…”

“Then what?” I snapped, trying not to kill the messenger, as so many do.

“Then I told him that I thought you were really cool and pretty, and asked if he would mind if I asked you out if he didn’t want to be in a relationship with you. All of a sudden, he’s calling and texting you constantly? He only wants you because he knows that I want you and he wants to feel fu*king special.”

Have you ever been blatantly lied to by a boyfriend? Did your friends try to tell you the truth? How did you handle the situation?

One thought on “My Boyfriend Made Up An Entire Vacation So He Wouldn’t Have To Hang Out With Me: Part 1

  1. Hello Jennifer,
    It’s been a while hasn’t it? Well, perhaps not for you because the evidence suggests that you are, unfortunately, still the little 16 year old girl you were back in 2003. A very close friend of mine brought your blog to my attention, to which my initial response was complete indifference. However, that was until I was notified of the “detailed hate speech” that was directed towards myself perpetrated by you. A friend read as I listened in complete confusion that something like this would happen, you know, being that we are both “adults” now. Nevertheless, I gave it respect, huge mistake on my part I must say, and listened with an objective and fair mind. After listening and thinking about the entire situation the fact of the matter is, yes, you were right. I did lie to you. It was very deceitful and I do apologize. I accept all responsibility for everything you have accused me of. Those were the actions of a naïve, immature boy who obviously did not know any better at the time and truthfully not the man I am today. Anybody who conducts themselves in that matter is no gentlemen. Boys grow and learn and become better men through their transgressions. However, this does not give you the right to slander in a public forum unbeknownst to another. You should be aware that some things are out of bounds. What is truly shocking, and also perplexing, is that all of this anger is still very much present inside you almost a decade later. And yet, you are the one who calls me psychotic; glass houses babe. Please don’t forget that you were not a perfect angel as well. The mere fact that I listened to your blog and subsequently responded means that I have officially descended to your level and for that I feel shameful and utterly disgusted. I also, understand that this response would give a person like you more ammunition. But I cannot just let someone like you get away with this without a fair response. I hope one day you do mature Jennifer and cease to be the scared, insecure little girl that has to attack people with their backs to you, very cowardly. At this time I’m going to ask you politely to discontinue “blogging” about myself or any other of my friends who you have “hit on” or had relationships with. If and when you do rise above this and I really hope that you do, I wish you luck in all of your future endeavors and perhaps we can behave accordingly as adults should. I’ve moved on as should you Jennifer.

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