“I Thought You Were Shy — This Skinny White Bitch Is OUT OF CONTROL!”

Yes, everyone at Lucky Cheng’s last night, the lunatic in the hot pink/zebra dress was me. And, yes, I was giving a lap dance to a complete stranger on stage in front of a restaurant full of people at a transvestite cabaret. As you can see in the progression of events, I went from shy and afraid to wild and crazy in a matter of about ten seconds. What? I wanted to win the contest!

I leaned down and asked the guy if he had a girlfriend. He told me he did, and pointed to a girl videoing us.

“I’m sorry,” I said, turned around, and apologized to the girlfriend. Then I said, “Don’t let me fall,” and threw myself upside-down.

The lap dance lasted about a minute, in which time the entire restaurant (including my friends) was going absolutely nuts. When I got off the poor guy, the transvestite host got on the microphone and yelled, “Oh my God! This is skinny white girl is out of control, ladies and gentlemen!”, then turned to me and said, “I thought you were shy!

When I shyly walked off stage and sat down with my friends, they all had their jaws dropped.

“Jennifer Alyssa ______, you are my hero!” Kerry said. “That was right up there with the birth of my niece!”

“Who areee youuuu??!!” Christine asked, eyes wide.

My other friends said a combination of “Oh my God,” “Holy shit,” and “That was amazing!”

PS, I ended up losing to a 68-year-old woman (who, by the way, told the restaurant that she still gives her husband oral sex and shocked us all!). Yeah, I would have chosen her as the winner, too.

Have you ever had to do anything crazy at a fun restaurant? Did you shock everyone — including your best friends — like I did?

6 thoughts on ““I Thought You Were Shy — This Skinny White Bitch Is OUT OF CONTROL!”

  1. Kerry: Hey, I had to do what I had to do. Who knew I’d be beat out by a 70-year-old lady! Hahaha, good times, good times.

  2. Buffy: Haha, ohhhh yes! But Part 2 of that night has yet to come! The male strip club will be the greatest blog post of all!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


nine + = 12

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>