Most of my best friends have the exact same relationship problems as I do: Their boyfriend sucks and they can’t or won’t leave him.
Alexa’s boyfriend is unbelievably emotionally abusive, and has been physically abusive in the past.
Betty’s sort-of boyfriend is possibly married because he has never taken her out on a date and refuses to spend the night, occasionally disappearing for weeks at a time.
Lorraine broke up with her boyfriend and got a phone call from her landlord, telling her that he was in her apartment going through her stuff. She had to change the locks.
You know my stories.
We give advice to each other until we’re blue in the face. “Leave him. He’s no good for you. He makes you miserable. People don’t change, you know that. He’s an asshole. You deserve so much better. You’ll find someone who will love you for you.” And the list goes on and on. The thing is, we don’t actually apply that really great advice to our own relationship.
In the same way our friends completely agree with what we’re saying, know it to be true, nod and say they’re going to make a change, then don’t …We do the exact same thing.
And why is it that we can clearly see what’s wrong with a relationship when we’re not the ones in it? Because we don’t want to believe that our own lives are doomed. We don’t want to believe that we’re unloved, that we can’t find a great guy, that things aren’t going to get better. We’d rather be miserable with the person we’re with because we “love him” or “things used to be so good” or we’re afraid to be alone.
The second you admit that the relationship is dead, you have to start trying to figure out why. That’s when scary thoughts start forming in our minds. Is it me? Is there something wrong with me that this keeps happening? Am I going to die alone? Once again, the list goes on and on.
So rather than submit ourselves to that list of horrors, we’d rather sit and complain about the same things being done by the same guy day after day, week after week, month after month…Until you’re so far into the soul-sucking relationship that you may as well be single and miserable, because at least then you’d be the only one depressing you.