“My Rebound Dumped Me And Then Told Not To Delete His Number In Case It Didn’t Work Out With His New Girlfriend”

I was thinking of writing one of my short and sweet titles, but I felt that, in this case, the actual truth is way funnier than any witty little rhyme I could come up with. My friend Jackie recently told me a story about how a guy she didn’t even like very much – and wasn’t going out with – dumped her for another girl.

After about three weeks of constantly text messages and attention from – let’s call him Lou – Jackie received a phone call from him.

“Hi, Jackie, umm, well there’s really no nice way to say this. I’ve been dating someone else while I was dating you and I’m going to be exclusive with her.”

Jackie’s jaw dropped immediately (as did mine when I heard the story).

“What?!” she yelled into the phone.

“Well, what happened was…she gave me an ultimatum and so I made her my girlfriend.”

“Jen, he could have left it right there and I would have accepted the fact that my rebound had dumped me…even though we weren’t even going out…even though I didn’t really like him. But, no, he had to take it a step further.”

“Well, hey, don’t delete me from your phone. If it doesn’t work out with her I’ll give you a call.”

Blinking at her in disbelief, she nodded and chugged down some sangria. “YUP, my rebound said, ‘Keep me in your phone so that if it doesn’t work out with the other girl I can give you a call. It happened.”

I’m very seriously considering changing the name of this blog to “Yup, it happened.” I truly feel like these stories (both mine and my friends’) are like a spin-off of Ripley’s Believe It Or Not. 

I shouldn’t even have to respond to such stupidity – but I will. Was this guy high?! Did he actually utter those words to my beautiful, brilliant, hilarious friend? Look, we all do it. Keep someone on the backburner. Stay “friends” with the thought that maybe if it doesn’t work out with the person we’re with we may rekindle the flame. But to actually tell the person that?!

It’s bad enough telling her that you’re leaving her for someone else. But, really, dude, you had to add insult to injury with that little comment?

PS, in case you’re interested, his girlfriend dumped him 3 days later and he’s been up Jackie’s ass ever since. She’s now dating someone else. Equally dumb, but at least richer.

Has anyone ever sprung on you that they’ve been dating someone else and now they’re choosing them over you?

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