The Self-Pity That Comes From Being Stood Up For A Date

My friend Anna has been dating a new guy. I was thrilled when she told me she had the hots for (do people use that expression anymore?) Alex because that meant that she was finally — finally — moving on from her stupid ass ex who I despise.

After her friend hooked them up, Anna text messaged him and scheduled their first date. It went

really well, and she expected him to call. But he didn’t. So she texted him and asked if he wanted to go out again. He said “Yes” and they went for dinner and pool. She paid for the pool and his drinks. I rolled my eyes.

He told her that he doesn’t usually take the initiative (his way of copping out of ever making plans with her). She felt better now that she knew it wasn’t her, that it was just his personality. This time they went back to his place and things got physical. Again they had a great time and she waited for him to call. Again, he didn’t.

She texted him and said she had a great time and that she had an extra ticket to a car show if he’d like to go with her. He accepted and they had a great time…again.

This time — thank God — he asked her out on a date at the end of the night. He flirted with her the entire evening and, at the end of it, asked what she was doing on Friday. They made plans to go out, and she was beside herself with excitement. To add to her elation, he texted her when she got home — something he had never ever done.

Much more his style, he completely stopped answering back about three text messages in, and this lasted all of Wednesday night, all of Thursday, and all of Friday. At 2PM, she called me upset.

“What should I do?” she asked. “I think he forgot about our date. I haven’t heard from him since Wednesday when he stopped answering. Do you think he got mad about something I said?”

“No, he’s just stupid. If he doesn’t text you, leave it alone and never talk to him again,” I advised.

“My sister thinks if I don’t hear from him by six, I should just call him.”

“Okay. I wouldn’t do it. But if you want to, make sure it’s a call and not a text.”

She called at 6PM, let his phone ring five times, and left him a voicemail asking if they were still getting together.

He called her back AN HOUR AND A HALF LATER telling her that he completely forgot about their date, and that he had his cousin’s surprise party to go to, and she should have fun that weekend. No real apology. No regret. No reschedule. No bueno.

She was devastated and felt like an idiot in front of her family, who she had told she was being taken out to dinner. Now I’e added Alex to my list of Anna’s loathed men.

Have you ever been stood up by a date? What happened?

3 thoughts on “The Self-Pity That Comes From Being Stood Up For A Date

  1. Ok, the truth hurts but really if a guy is interested he will show it. Men are simple creatures and it’s not nearly as complicated as we (women) like to make it! No call? No text? No worries just move on. Do not make the effort especially in the beginning, it’s hard when you like someone but you have to let him take the lead. Also, I’ve noticed that typically guys won’t come out and SAY they aren’t interested…they just do things like ignore texts etc. Most boys will avoid confrontation and just hope you take the hint. Anna you deserve better!!

  2. That sucks big time! The signs that he wasn’t interested were there from the beginning. Your friend was so into him that she failed to see it. Sometimes when we like someone, we make excuses for their bad behaviour. I think he was being “polite” and enjoying the freebees.

    If a guy is interested in a girl he will make every effort to contact her and see her. Hopefully she learns her lesson and not let her feelings cloud her judgment.

  3. Such a shame he wasn’t interested… They def would have made a good couple!

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